Black fathers
must reclaim
their children...
By Ronald E. Smith

At the beginning of the 21st century the plague of
social problems associated with the demise of the
American family is all too evident. And nowhere
is the plight of the traditional family more evident
than in the African- American community.

America’s inner cities are in a shambles. Detroit has a 75
percent out-of-wedlock birth rate, an 85 percent rate of
fatherlessness and a pathetic high school graduation
rate of 29 percent. Moreover, six out of every 10
families living in the state of Michigan have had
intervention by child protective services.

In 1960, somewhere between 66 percent and 80
percent of black children living in the inner cities lived
in intact families. Today the number is less than 33
percent. That is a calamity. In 1960 about 22 percent
of black children were born out of wedlock; today, the
number is somewhere between 70 and 85 percent, and
it’s getting worse.

The presumed good intentions of the 1960s “Great
Society” and the “War on Poverty” had just the
opposite effect on Black America. Social programs
produced public policies that have further divided the
black family. Victimization and entitlement have
become the accepted norm.

I certainly agree with those eminent members of my
community who believe that black men, in fact all men,
must stand tall and be “ responsible,” but I wholly
disagree with Mr. Roland Martin, and other prominent
individuals, like Dr. William (Bill) Cosby and Dr.
Allan Pouissant, who want to ‘blame’ black fathers for
the familial disconnect. With due respect to these intelligent
individuals, their conclusion is superficial. It is based
upon the thinking of someone who has not tasted first hand
what goes on in the trenches where familial demise begins [and
ends for many]: the family courts and state agencies
that constitute the ‘system’.

Once one takes the time to understand and
witness how the system works, (or doesn’t) one
quickly sees a glaring disconnect. The system is
driving fathers from their families with total disregard
for the social and economic consequences. The
system is destroying black families at light speed.

I am an African-American father. I love my children
dearly. I take my fatherhood responsibilities seriously.
But the mother of my children, who believed in
‘matriarchal superiority,’ was able to use a system
designed to exacerbate problems rather than alleviate
or reconcile them. She used the system to ensure that
I became irrelevant, and that drove me from my
children’s lives. I lived it. I watched it happen. I spent
the better part of my children’s lives working two full-
time jobs, making sure that excessive child support
was paid. I also spent time calling the Chicago Police
asking for assistance because my children’s mother
made it a game to hide the kids when Dad was coming.
Yet the system didn’t care. The system allowed my
children’s mother to teach our children to disrespect
me. This parental alienation followed my oldest son to
his grave, as he died at age 21, of liver cancer earlier
this year. In fact, the funeral arrangements made by
his mother had absolutely no mention of my family or
me in the obituary.

My surviving son is 20 years old and I was reminded
of the parental alienation of my sons recently when
my 50th birthday passed with no card or call from him.

It’s time for African-American leaders to become
objective about the dismal plight of the black family,
and proactive towards finding solutions. Blaming
black men is not the answer. The current ‘system’ and
the paradigm it has created and perpetuates, must be
restructured. Federal funding incentives that invite
the states to participate in the business of familial
destruction must be recognized, scrutinized and
changed.
Ronald E. Smith, president and CEO of Children Need Both
Parents, Inc. is a minister and family activist in Michigan.